A Real Mama's Girl

Dear Stiletto Girls,

I’m in my late 20’s and I’ve been dating a guy who I really like for about five months now. Everything is good, we go out, he treats me nice, he has a good job. He does have a three year old son from a previous relationship and I don’t have any kids. The problem is that my mother can’t stand him! She said she doesn’t like that he has as child already and it’s something about him that she doesn’t trust. Now I’m paranoid all the time. What should I do?

Mama’s Girl

Mama’s Girl,

Sounds like you’re in a good relationship that works for YOU. The fact that he has a child doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It will give you the opportunity to see how he is as a parent, if you choose to have children with him. Your mother may just be feeling left out. Is she used to you coming to her for everything and now you go to him? Maybe she doesn’t think he’s good enough for you, which is common with parents. If that’s the case, no one is probably going to be good enough for you in her eyes. I would keep my eyes peels for any untrustworthy activity, but try to relax in the in relationship. It’s still early and there’s a lot to learn about each other. Don’t let mom ruin it for you. There may be a valuable learning experience somewhere in it for you. He could be the man of your dreams or he may break your heart. Either way, you will hopefully learn and grow as a woman. Whatever happens, it’s your life to live, not your mother’s.

For advice hit us up at StilettoGirls@inbox.com

Come Again?

Could you possibly rewind and come again? You mean I can have a double or a triple? Wow? What’s the trick? Back in the days, multiple orgasms were something that happened to highly sexual porn stars, but today every medical professional will tell you that most women are able to achieve multiple orgasms-that is, if she wants to. So how do you do it? 

According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, once you can have one, you can have many. That’s step one. Step two is plenty of sexercise. Kegal exercises are the most popular and the easiest to do. Shoot, I’m doing them as I type this. By now, you know how kegels work. You squeeze the muscles until you feel them tighten. Then you release them. Then you tighten again. “Since your orgasm is essentially an intense contraction of your PC and pelvic floor muscles, strengthening them increases blood flow to the area and enables you to experience a deeper pleasure sensation and a repeated series of pulses,” says Laura Berman, PhD, author of The Passion Prescription. When you’re close to orgasm, tighten and relax your kegels. This alone can trigger a real orgasm. So, if you strengthen this muscle you will have orgasms easier, even multiples.

Step Three: After you come the first time, you most likely don’t want to be touched anywhere near your va jay jay. It’s so hypersensitive because of the increase in blood flow to the area. However, if you want to achieve another orgasm, you can’t relax too much. Have your partner continue to kiss on you, your breasts, etc. and stimulate you in other ways, until you can be touched there again. Take a small break, but if you disconnect the intimate contact, you’ll have to work harder to get aroused again. After your sensitivity is over, you can go at again and again, if you’d like. The trick is not to break intimacy connection. Got it everyone? Good! I think I’ll make mine a double-better yet, a triple!

Movie Time!!! Are You on the Bus???

Hey SSS fans! We're baaaccckkkk!! Okay, so we hope by now EVERYONE has seen the hottest movie out! "Think Like a Man!"  For those of you who ride the late bus, here is a brief synopses.

About three years ago, Steve Harvey wrote a book entitled, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." Steve Harvey gives insight to women on how men REALLY think. He basically breaks down men into several categories.  Categories include the player, the dreamer, non-committer, the happily married man, the happily divorced man and the mama's boy.  Tips and tactics are given as a way to help "win" the situation at hand.

Okay, so for those of who have seen the movie, which character do you identify with the most?  Are you the CEO, strong woman type? Or the newly divorced/separated man?  Oh and finally has this book helped you or anyone you know?

Does Size really Matter?

Dear SSS,

Every time I meet I guy, I find myself looking at his hands and feet.  If he has small hands, or small feet I am immediately turned off!  The reason I run is because I have ALWAYS heard that men with small feet and hands have a small “whomp- whomp”.   In your experience, do you know this to be true?  Am I being too superficial? 

DMV Rep

Dear DMV Rep,

In our experience, this is not true all of the time.  We have experienced size 16 men that are less endowed.  So, you may be selling yourself short.  Remember, it’s the motion of the ocean not the size.  Finding the right match is like fitting pieces to a puzzle.  If it doesn’t fit, it just doesn’t fit.  Trust me, when the right one comes along, that fit will be OH SOOO right!   

If you are truly looking for your match, why not look at other traits before running for the hills? For example, while looking at his feet check out his shoe game?  Who wants a man with large feet and some run down Keds?  Also, does he have some ashy hands?  Does he take the time to care for himself?  If not then will he take the time to care for you? 

Lastly, remember the energy you put out is what you get back.  Do you want someone judging you based on the lip gloss you wore that day?  Why not dig a little deeper?  Try having a conversation with the man before running for the hills.  You never know, you may end up trading in those running shoes for some sexy stilettos.

Only the Strong Survive

Can your relationship handle this scenario?  Imagine you are with your partner for ten years.  Together, you have two kids, a dog, and you are about to close on a new house.  Life is going great, when an unexpected bump crosses your path. You come home from a hard day of work when you find a note on your door. When you open it reads, "I've been sleeping with your man/lady, for the past five years...I thought you should know"

Is your relationship strong enough to survive anything?  Or even better how much drama are you willing to put up with before looking at the front door?

Before making a quick move, always look at the entire picture. Is this truth or a hater in the mist? How well do you know your partner? Can you two get through this?

First things first, trust your gut.  You know when things just aren't right.  If you stand for nothing, then you will fall for anything!  At the end of the day, nobody wants a weak partner.  Even if you don’t leave, please don’t lay down quietly.  Stay true to yourself, and you can't go wrong.  Most importantly, your partner has to be willing to take ownership.  If your partner is apologetic, forgiveness is an option.  Forgiveness allows you to bring good karma your way.  People can change; watch how your partner acts.  If their actions match their words, chances are the relationship can be repaired.  However, if you get the same outcome, then perhaps it’s time to reevaluate. 

Let’s consider some examples in the media, Hilary and Bill stayed together.  Maybe all he wanted was more head.  Now he is Hilary’s biggest supporter.   Demi Moore seems like she kept it moving.  Maybe she didn’t have a choice.  Consider how karma works, check out Britney Spears, she even cried a river, need I say more? 

Has your relationship gone through a test? Did it make you stronger as a person, a couple or both? Would you stay in a relationship if you were cheated on? 

Fifty Shades Book Club Meeting

I hope everyone has had enough time to read the book, Fifty Shades of Grey, by E L James. I read it three days, it was so hot and steamy! So we will have our online book club meeting on Tuesday, April 17th at 8:00pm. That will give people time to finish it up. I will follow with details on how we will discuss the book, just make sure you're all finished with it by Tuesday. Email us at StilettoGirls@inbox.com if you want to add questions to the discussion list. Happy Reading

She Didn't Get it From Her Momma

Hey Stiletto Girls,

I’m a 23 year old man and I love my girl. A few months ago we were living with her moms until our new apartment was ready and one night while my girl was asleep I banged her moms. It happened a couple times until we moved out and it hasn’t happened since. I feel bad because her moms sex is better, but I love my girl. She been with me through everything. Her moms said she ain’t telling and since it’s over do you think I should tell her to clear my guilty conscience?

Da Bronx Bomber

HELLLLLLL NOOOO, you better not tell her! Not if you don’t want to have find a new girl and a new place to live. I suggest you and your conscience get over it. She will never forgive or trust you and moms again. Think about that drama at the next family reunion. Moms is probably from the old school, so you know she ain’t gonna say anything. The both of you need to lock that secret away and forget it. Teach your girl some of mommas tricks and keep it movin’.

Stiletto Girls

Hot Sex on a Platter

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter holiday! All of the fried turkey I had got me thinking....about good sex, of course.

I'm sure you've had good sessions and hopefully, you haven't had too many bad sessions. A bad session would be like the one time many years ago when I fell asleep during sex. Exciting, huh? Many key ingredients are needed to cook up a hot bowl of enjoyable sex. A pinch of friction here, a dash of stamina there, throw in location and position for good measure and that’s a recipe for hot sex…but what’s the most important components to good sex?

I think chemistry/attraction and skill are two very important ingredients for having good sex. If you're not attracted to the person, how can you really enjoy sex with them-without pretending at least.

How about skill? Remember my post  on having teach your man how to please you? His skills could be the reason you keep him around. I mean, let’s face it, when your man has your toes curled and your lace-front crooked, you’re more liable to forgive him for minor mishaps. We all know the benefits to having good sex regularly. You increase your life and overall health. So, I ask you....which ingredients makes sex good?

Sex on the brain

Chocolate, sex, money, and love are just a few things that come to mind when I think about addiction.  We are all afflicted with an addiction.  Are you real enough to accept yours? Or, are you in denial?  An addiction, defined in Webster’s dictionary is, “a continued use of a substance, or behavior despite adverse consequences.”  Today, there are many people who claim sex as their addiction.  The question is how far are you willing to go to get it?  Sleep with a crack head?  Risk getting HIV/AIDS?  It leaves me to wonder is it truly an addiction or an excuse to have free range?

The first couple that comes to mind is Eric Benet and Halle Berry, any man or woman’s dream.  Shoot, I figure if it can happen to Halle it can happen to anyone.  Everyone thought Eric was the stupidest man in the world.  Damn, if Halle can get cheated on, then nobody is exempt!  Yet, somehow people started looking at Halle sideways wondering what is she doing wrong in bed?  Is she stingy, or does her breath stink?  Or did he use it as an excuse?  Now, he has moved on and has another bad chick on his arm.  Maybe, he used the relationship to raise his status quo.  Leaves me to wonder….. is he cured now? Smh…

What about Jada and Will Smith?  It is rumored that they enjoy having sex so much they have worked out an “arrangement”.  It seems to work for them, so maybe it is possible to make it work.  Some feel as though it can make a relationship stronger.  For me, more ingredients to the pot may add flavor, but it can spoil it too.

Did we forget about the Tiger Woods scandal?  All them chicks started coming out the woodwork like roaches.....Then he started losing, bad!  Did he lose his mojo?

Addictions are real, and should be taken very seriously. Whether it is you, or your partner consider getting help.  Many addictions have an underlying cause and should be treated by a professional.   Would you date someone who says they are a sex addict? 

And She Said He’s Just a Friend

It depends. That’s MY answer to the age old question, can men and women be friends with their ex-lover? Anyone would say “no, absolutely not,” and then they would turn around and realize that they have one or two ex’s who they still keep in touch with. So why do we do it? If we’re happy in our new or current relationships, why do we keep in touch with our ex’s?

I’ve been told that one good reason for keeping in touch with an ex, while you’re in a committed relationship is because you may need an ego boost. Ex’s know how to say all the right things when you’re not together anymore. They can make you feel good. They let us know that we still got it!

Another reason for keeping in touch with an ex is maybe you’re just not as happy in that new/current relationship as you think. Maybe you realize your ex wasn’t so bad after all. It’s a way of keeping that door open, in case the situation you’re in now doesn’t work out. However, I know from personal experience that men and women can be friends if they were lovers first. You just have to practice common sense and set bounderies when dealing with your ex. It also helps if the attraction is dead as a doornail. I mean let’s face it, being friends with an ex that you are still attracted to is highly inappropriate, if you’re in a committed relationship. So let’s discuss. Are you alright with your partner being friends with their ex?

Product Review

So, I got word of a crafty little do-hicky and I wanted to pass it on to you guys. I think I'll try it! It's called a 3 speed Bullet Love Ring by Shag Factory. See the review by a loyal Secrets, Sex and Stilettos viewer below:

Hey girls,

I purchased a product this week and I wanted to share it with you. It's called a Big Ben 3 speed Bullet Love Ring by Shag Factory. It's basically a cock ring, which goes around the base of the penis and slows the flow of blood to the penis making it stay harder, longer. My husband and I had a good time with this one because it has a vibrator attached. Every time he entered me, the vibrator would rub on my clit and it felt pretty good. It was fun and something new to try. You should recommend it to your readers. Enjoy.

You gon learn today!!

Since the beginning of time, as we know it, women and men have embraced different modes of entertainment. For men, it was hunting, poker, bars, or burlesque houses just to name a few. Whatever the heck floats their boat.  For women, the picture has seemed vague. It was taboo for women to be seen in a bar.  Women were judged and looked down upon if they even talked about a bar or burlesque house.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, today is a new day.
 
Now, women are embracing what men have always seen as beautiful:  our bodies.  It is not uncommon to hear about a group of women going to a strip club and enjoying themselves.  Yes, ladies if you don't know you better ask somebody.  Once our sworn enemies, now our “She-ro” is the dancer/stripper.  She can flip, climb poles, and shake her ass in several directions at once.  She is just amazing, and the tricks are endless.
 
Many may ask, "why not go to a male strip club?".  The bottom line is men are not fun to watch.  Some women do enjoy watching them, but it is just too much.  Then, you have to wonder is that a sock, and why is he moving his hips so hard?  See? Too much thinking...
 
Now, if you’re considering going for the first time, do some research.  This is the best part! Some strip clubs have a night where you can go on stage and perform!  Always go for the classy spots. They have the best chicks, food, and drinks! Next, please, please don't be cheap! Always show some love.  Lastly, don't hate, appreciate. If you’re a hater just stay your ass home. Only fun people need apply. 

 
So, do you have a favorite spot? What metropolitan area? Is anyone totally opposed to females going to female strip clubs?  Do you think women who enjoy strip clubs may be bi?