Talk That Talk to Me

While dirty talk can be an easy way to get aroused, doing it wrong can bring your libido down faster than Freefall at Six Flags. Some men really enjoy it and some women have yet to master it.  So, here are my tips for the girls who haven’t found their inner bad girl yet! If this is new to you, start by sexting. It’s so much easier to write down how you’re feeling instead of actually saying it. Start off with that during the day, so by the time they see you that night, they’re ready to explode. You can start off with something as simple as “I’ve been thinking about you all day,” or “The sex was so good last time.” Both of these will snowball into something grand.

When you’re in the session, just describe what’s happening. Make him feel like man. “It feels so good when you blah, blah, blah.”  You don’t have to talk the whole time. Just enough to get both of you hot and bothered. Something simple like, “Put it in,” or “harder,” “deeper,” can put him in frenzy and satisfy your dirty talk quota. Try to look each other in the eye when you tell the other person how much you enjoy them. Tell her, “You’re so beautiful,” and mean it! You can tell him, “I love to watch it go in and out.” Recite some of those steamy text messages. If cursing isn’t off limits, then you can really have some fun. If he’s too vulgar say, “Babe, I don’t like that word, but I love when you said XYZ. Say that again.” Don’t worry if it sounds corny. All you need is confidence to pull this off. Be brave. So let’s talk…how easy (or hard) is it to talk dirty to your lover?

Caught Red Handed???

                                 

                                             

Dear Stiletto Girls,

I know this may be a crazy question, but why is my lady cock blockin? You see, I like to self indulge. The thing is I've been self indulging since I was 10 years old! Sometimes I just do it out of habit. Its not like I'm with another woman getting off! If I'm in the bathroom to long, if I don't bust off hard during sex she always asks, "Did you jerk off?" It drives me crazy! What can I do get her to understand its just what I do nothing personal?

Big D


Dear Big D,

Honestly, I have no idea why your lady is so preoccupied with you self indulging.  This is totally normal, and can enhance your sex life. There are a few approaches to this situation. First, if your willing, ask her to join in. Show her how and what you like done.  Then after your lesson, let her give it a whirl. Next, let her experience the benefit of you self indulging. Perhaps you're able to make love longer, your a little harder, or you can just focus on her orgasm. Why not just dick her down a little more than usual? Let her know she is your absolute favorite way of releasing. Finally, encourage her to self indulge. She may have NO idea how fun it is! Check out our blog on sex toys for ideas. Bottom line you better teach her about that L O N G dick! She gon learn today!

Stiletto Girls

Pineapple Express?

My man told me that is his ex girl used to douche with pineapple juice so she could taste better. I felt like he was suggesting I try it. Should I?


In my research I couldn't find anything that says that you shouldn't, but I also didn't come across anything that says it's okay. Does Massengil or Summer's Eve have pineapple douche? Then I wouldn't do it. Pineapples have natural sugars in them that would probably turn your goodie into a yeast infection's playground. I'm going to go with no. Your man's ex is stupid. Don't invent when it comes to your vajayjay. Get some Norforms or Summer's Eve and drink the pineapple juice.

Stiletto girls

Have a question? Email us at StilettoGirls@inbox.com

Are You Ready to Learn?

So Brian McKnight wants to teach us about our pussies...hmmm. Please view the video before proceeding, but be careful. The lyrics are NSFW.

So is Brian McKnight on to something? Ladies, did you NOT know that “your pussy can squirt?” Does it really make a difference in the intensity of your orgasm or is it good for nothing more than making a mess and making your partner feel like Super Man? And yes! Most men (and women) will be incredibly turned on if they can make you squirt. It’s erotic and not incredibly hard to do. There’s a big debate in the medical field about female ejaculation (also known as squirting or gushing.) There are several myths surrounding the topic, but according to Lisa S. Lawless, R.M. Psychotherapist, ALL women are capable of it! It’s not something reserved for “special” sex kittens. So first thing you need to know is the fluid is NOT urine. It’s a clear liquid, similar to water and is typically odorless. For all the medical stats on the fluid, do some research on the internet. I want to talk about how to do it. First things first, many women feel like they have to pee when they’re ready to squirt so they hold back. You can release this fear by simply emptying your bladder before your sex session. The easiest way to do it is by G-spot stimulation. So here are some tips. After plenty of foreplay, get lubed up with a water based lube. Some oils are also good. Grape seed oil is great and it feels natural, but it is not condom safe, so choose the lube if you’re using condoms afterward. Insert your index finger about two knuckles deep and rub on the ridges on the front wall of her vagina. Use your index finger and do a “come here” motion with your finger. Pull on this spot slowing and firmly. This is her G-spot. It will feel like a ridged, walnut sized bump when it swells, which it will do once she’s aroused. More than rubbing it, you have to pull it. (This was news to me.) Eventually, you will have the urge to pee. Instead of holding back, bear down and let it go. Your orgasm should be mind blowing. Once you get used to doing it, you should be able to do it during intercourse as well. Practice, practice, practice is the key. So there you have it. Now Brian McKnight can’t teach you anything about your pussy that you don’t already know.

Too many???

           

What would you do in this scenario?  You and your partner are together long enough to have hit the sack quite a few times.  One evening, out of nowhere your partner ask, “How many people have you slept with?”  What do you say?  Do you fudge your number a little because there are a few that were a “mistake” and don’t count?  Do you ever reveal your true number?  Keep in mind, if you are not honest then expect the same from your partner.

Many people like to leave the past in the past.  Unless you’re a virgin or started having sex in your 20’s or 30’s your number may sound reasonable( 1?, 10?).  Some want an experienced partner, others may feel too many partners’ equals ho.   So, what sex partner number are you willing to accept?  When is it just too many?

                                                               

Miss New Booty

Hey Stiletto Girls,

Me and my man have been together for seven years and in an effort to spice up our sex life, he wants us to try having anal sex. I'm so afraid. I heard it hurts at first.

Miss New Booty

Dear Miss New Booty,

Didn't vaginal sex hurt at first, but it feels good now, right? Anal sex, even though still very much taboo, can be enjoyable if you are relaxed and lubed up well. I recommend trying it while the two of you are alone, either at home or in a hotel room. Maybe have a glass of wine or two and go slow! After you are all lubed up, try lying on your side, as a starting position. Next, you back up on to him, instead of him ramming into you. The key is to remain relaxed. The most important tip I can give you is NEVER go from anal sex to vaginal sex without having your partner clean up first. To reduce infection, use a condom even though you've been together forever. A penis may be too large to start with. Try a finger first, then two. You can even try anal beads or a butt plug to get you ready for anal play. You can try it and if you don't like it, you never have to do it again. I'm sure he loves you enough to respect that.

Stiletto Girls

Sex Tape Drama?

Well, well, another celebrity sex tape as surfaced, and as always, the media has to act surprised and shocked.  Apparently, Tyson Beckford was video chatting with a model chic, and she taped him masturbating.  So, for her to tape him either he looked REALLY good or REALLY bad only time will tell.  We will keep an eye out.  Speaking of celebrity sex tapes has anyone seen Kim K and Ray J's tape?  Yeah it has been out for a while, but there are a few things that are a little bothersome.  Is it me or does Ray J get jerked on his dick suck?  Then again why would you let Ray J smack his penis on your face like that? I'm just sayin'.....  Let me know your thoughts on ANY celeb sex tape you’ve come across.

Speaking of sex tapes, we all have made a few….uh right? Anyway, for those of us that indulge, what happens if things don’t quite work out?  Do you ask for the tape/file back?  I say, ALWAYS know where to access it and once you find it destroy, and delete!   What do you think?  Let your ex have it or destroy the bitch? 

Remember you can ALWAYS remain anonymous when responding.  Thanks!

Finding the Fire and Desire

For those of us who have been in marriages or long term relationships, we often wonder, where did the fire go? Maybe we're too busy with work or busy wrestling the kids to sleep, but sex sometimes just becomes another chore on the to-do list. So what do we do to get out of the sex rut?


Even if it's just once a month, do something, as a couple that is outside of your normal sex session. How about trying an adult paint box? Paint each other using edible body paint. Of course sex toys are always fun. Maybe some role playing will spice things up in the bedroom. She's the patient and you're her horny gynecologist, checking to make sure that it's all good down there. How about making a video; your very own porno and then have more fun watching it together! How about installing a pole in the bedroom? If you take a sexy pole dancing class or two and you can pull it off, he'll be impressed and horny! Maybe it's something as simple as meeting your man at the door with some hot new lingerie on (don't forget the stilettos.) You have on your new crotchless body stocking and you serve him dinner and let him have you for dessert-with your body stocking or new lingerie still on! Whoa! You can let him take it off for round two. The point is, there is no excuse for boring sex. If you had exciting sex once upon a time, you can have it again. If you have ideas for spicing things up in the bedroom, send us an email at Stilettogirls@inbox.com or leave us a comment.

Too Small to Stay?

Dear Stiletto Ladies,

Three months ago, I felt like I met the man of my dreams.  He is attentive to my needs, opens my door, and pays for EVERYTHING!  He even took me home to meet his mother.  I was literally in heaven until a few days ago.  We finally decided to jump things off in the bedroom.  This is when I was abruptly thrown back to earth.  I will cut right to the chase, he has a small penis.  It’s really tiny, like Smurf small.   I even gave it a few go rounds thinking it was just his nerves.  It got worse each time….he seems to be trying so hard.  I don’t have the heart to tell him, his sex is bad.  I really need to get my rocks off too; I don’t know what to do.  Should I stay or leave?

Smurf love

Dear Smurf love,

Your situation is definitely a tough one.  The truth of the matter is, you cannot try to have chemistry.  Either it is there or not, especially sexually chemistry.  No matter how hard you squeeze down there, you will continue to be frustrated.  Yes, we can talk about toys, and the cock ring, but those should be used to enhance the sex not create.  Sex is essential for bonding with your love; you don’t want to be detached.  Just leave the man alone.  Maybe someone else will be a better fit for him.  As far as telling him why, I would just say the chemistry wasn’t there. No need to bruise the man’s ego.   Don’t let too much time pass, as it will become harder to tell him each day.  Plus, you can always keep him as a good friend, if you cut ties on a positive note.  Just know when Mr. Right comes along, sexually chemistry will go with the package.  Leave the Smurfs to Smurfette, and you keep looking for your man!

The Shoe Chronicles

When asked to do a blog about sex, relationships, and everything in between I was elated!  For the past 20 plus years, I have been submerged in sex, health, and relationships.  Especially when I heard the name?!  I thought WOW that is too sexy!  Once we began to discuss the blog and topics, I definitely wanted shoes into the equation.  Any and every woman's love! Tell me, what goes good with sex besides chocolate?....Shoes, hot sexy, keep them on while your bent over stiletto pumps!

 

So, what can we expect to see out there this summer?  It looks like metallic and neon are making a comeback. I think the last neon apparel I had was some neon biking shorts, and a Columbia jacket!   Check out these 2012 spring/summer picks!

These John Paul Gautier boots make me so weak.  JPG was on top of it this year!  No heel?! sick!

Prada's newest shoe is hot.  Please ladies, rock the hell out of this shoe! How would you rock it? Short mini?.....

So ladies, please, do you feel having a mean shoe game is a must?

Christian Louboutin "Sex" Stilettos

I have been asked, "Where did you get the name for your blog?" Well, when I was deciding on a name I knew I wanted something cute and catchy. If you know my last name, you'll get the "Secrets" reference. "Sex" is the reason I started this. A lot of my friends ask for my advice on their relationships and I love to give it. The last word was trickier. I had to pick an "S" word that was the epitome of sexy. Something that represented myself, as well as other women who feel sexy in their skin. That's when "Stilettos" came to me. Stilettos are damn sexy and if you have a shoe fetish like me, then you get it! You also get why my very first post was about men who wear them! Everyone loves them! Unless you have them on too long, in which case you will definitely hate them.

However, as I was surfing the web for shoes to satisfy my fetish, I came across these BAD Christian Louboutins. "Sex" is the name of the shoe and as you can see they actually spell out the word SEX. They're not something you want to wear to the office, but they're sexy as hell and they've been worn by celebrities, Kate Upton and Katy Perry.

So ladies, if you have $1,400 to burn, I would recommend these as my pick of the week....because nothing says, "Secrets, Sex and Stilettos" better than that.

Smells Like Grown Woman Spirit

I really hate the way I smell down there. It's not BAD, but I notice it. My man says he likes it and he goes down on me often. I never douched. Should try it?

QT

QT,

Each woman has a natural aroma that more than likely turns their partner on, but yet this is something that we worry about. I usually just shower right before I know I'm about to have a session. A shower together is always fun as well. Douching is fine, but not too often. I’ve heard about a product called Norforms.  When I was introduced to them I was told "They make you taste better." While, that's not actually on the box, I've been told it leaves you with no taste. No taste or natural taste, I guess it's your man's preference and whatever makes you comfortable. Of course a natural remedy is eating sweet fruits such as pineapples, mangos and cantaloupes to taste yummy and avoid asparagus, onions and garlic the day of the big session. Try different things and see what  works best for you.

My Girl Got a Girlfriend

Cmsecrets

I was seeing this girl I really liked for a few months. She told me she was bisexual and I was ok with that. Two weeks ago she had a female friend from her hometown come visit her. During the four days her friend was in town, she didn't introduce her to me and she only called me twice. I asked her if i could take them to dinner and she said no because they don't hang out together often. We only live a few miles apart I could have come over. She says they're just friends but I don't believe her. Anyway, I cut her off and she can't understand why. Am I wrong?

Tony

Tony,

You cut her off because you already know what I'm about to tell you. She's most likely sleeping with this lady and it would be awkward to have the two of you around each other. Maybe they didn't want you to think you could join in. Maybe she didn’t want to woman to know about you. To answer your question, no, I don't think you did anything wrong. If you've been honest with her and you feel she's lying to you then she's not serious about you. I mean she couldn't let you hang out with them once? Every woman wants to be taken to dinner. Something about it doesn't seem right and I wouldn't deal with her until she comes clean about it.

Cmsecrets

Family Friends

Dear Stiletto Ladies,
 
My BFF and I have been friends for over 20 years!  Over the years, I have looked forward to going to family cookouts, reunions, etc. The only reason is for her fine ass cousin. There is definitely an attraction there. We just don't go there for friendships sake.
 
The only problem is I think I'm in love. I want to just have him taste my birthday cake one time....I feel as though I'm a grown ass woman, why not? If it works out great! If not, at least I can just let this feeling go.
 
So, do you think I should give it a try or leave it alone?  How should I break this to my BFF?  I don't want to risk our friendship, but I also want to be happy.
 
Lady in Red

 
Dear Lady in Red,
 
Dating your BFF’s relative can have both positive and negative outcomes. First, I always suggest when dating get a few referrals. Yes, referrals can give you some major insight into his/her family life, history, and all the essentials.
 
The only drawback, what if it doesn’t work out?!  You will still have to see the deflated lover. Possibly even go to his wedding in the future!  All I'm saying is choose wisely. Why not keep the energy flowing and just let it be?  Plus, he may not know how to swing that thing!  If anything, let him take the first steps.
 
Most importantly, good friends are hard to find.   That's your BFF for a reason!  Talk to her and be straight up, see how she feels. Respect the game, what is yours will be yours regardless!
 
Stiletto Girls
 
 
Hit us up for advice on stilettogirls@inbox.com.
Improving your quality of life through honesty, love, and positive energy.

A Real Mama's Girl

Dear Stiletto Girls,

I’m in my late 20’s and I’ve been dating a guy who I really like for about five months now. Everything is good, we go out, he treats me nice, he has a good job. He does have a three year old son from a previous relationship and I don’t have any kids. The problem is that my mother can’t stand him! She said she doesn’t like that he has as child already and it’s something about him that she doesn’t trust. Now I’m paranoid all the time. What should I do?

Mama’s Girl

Mama’s Girl,

Sounds like you’re in a good relationship that works for YOU. The fact that he has a child doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It will give you the opportunity to see how he is as a parent, if you choose to have children with him. Your mother may just be feeling left out. Is she used to you coming to her for everything and now you go to him? Maybe she doesn’t think he’s good enough for you, which is common with parents. If that’s the case, no one is probably going to be good enough for you in her eyes. I would keep my eyes peels for any untrustworthy activity, but try to relax in the in relationship. It’s still early and there’s a lot to learn about each other. Don’t let mom ruin it for you. There may be a valuable learning experience somewhere in it for you. He could be the man of your dreams or he may break your heart. Either way, you will hopefully learn and grow as a woman. Whatever happens, it’s your life to live, not your mother’s.

For advice hit us up at StilettoGirls@inbox.com

Come Again?

Could you possibly rewind and come again? You mean I can have a double or a triple? Wow? What’s the trick? Back in the days, multiple orgasms were something that happened to highly sexual porn stars, but today every medical professional will tell you that most women are able to achieve multiple orgasms-that is, if she wants to. So how do you do it? 

According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, once you can have one, you can have many. That’s step one. Step two is plenty of sexercise. Kegal exercises are the most popular and the easiest to do. Shoot, I’m doing them as I type this. By now, you know how kegels work. You squeeze the muscles until you feel them tighten. Then you release them. Then you tighten again. “Since your orgasm is essentially an intense contraction of your PC and pelvic floor muscles, strengthening them increases blood flow to the area and enables you to experience a deeper pleasure sensation and a repeated series of pulses,” says Laura Berman, PhD, author of The Passion Prescription. When you’re close to orgasm, tighten and relax your kegels. This alone can trigger a real orgasm. So, if you strengthen this muscle you will have orgasms easier, even multiples.

Step Three: After you come the first time, you most likely don’t want to be touched anywhere near your va jay jay. It’s so hypersensitive because of the increase in blood flow to the area. However, if you want to achieve another orgasm, you can’t relax too much. Have your partner continue to kiss on you, your breasts, etc. and stimulate you in other ways, until you can be touched there again. Take a small break, but if you disconnect the intimate contact, you’ll have to work harder to get aroused again. After your sensitivity is over, you can go at again and again, if you’d like. The trick is not to break intimacy connection. Got it everyone? Good! I think I’ll make mine a double-better yet, a triple!

Movie Time!!! Are You on the Bus???

Hey SSS fans! We're baaaccckkkk!! Okay, so we hope by now EVERYONE has seen the hottest movie out! "Think Like a Man!"  For those of you who ride the late bus, here is a brief synopses.

About three years ago, Steve Harvey wrote a book entitled, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." Steve Harvey gives insight to women on how men REALLY think. He basically breaks down men into several categories.  Categories include the player, the dreamer, non-committer, the happily married man, the happily divorced man and the mama's boy.  Tips and tactics are given as a way to help "win" the situation at hand.

Okay, so for those of who have seen the movie, which character do you identify with the most?  Are you the CEO, strong woman type? Or the newly divorced/separated man?  Oh and finally has this book helped you or anyone you know?

Does Size really Matter?

Dear SSS,

Every time I meet I guy, I find myself looking at his hands and feet.  If he has small hands, or small feet I am immediately turned off!  The reason I run is because I have ALWAYS heard that men with small feet and hands have a small “whomp- whomp”.   In your experience, do you know this to be true?  Am I being too superficial? 

DMV Rep

Dear DMV Rep,

In our experience, this is not true all of the time.  We have experienced size 16 men that are less endowed.  So, you may be selling yourself short.  Remember, it’s the motion of the ocean not the size.  Finding the right match is like fitting pieces to a puzzle.  If it doesn’t fit, it just doesn’t fit.  Trust me, when the right one comes along, that fit will be OH SOOO right!   

If you are truly looking for your match, why not look at other traits before running for the hills? For example, while looking at his feet check out his shoe game?  Who wants a man with large feet and some run down Keds?  Also, does he have some ashy hands?  Does he take the time to care for himself?  If not then will he take the time to care for you? 

Lastly, remember the energy you put out is what you get back.  Do you want someone judging you based on the lip gloss you wore that day?  Why not dig a little deeper?  Try having a conversation with the man before running for the hills.  You never know, you may end up trading in those running shoes for some sexy stilettos.

Only the Strong Survive

Can your relationship handle this scenario?  Imagine you are with your partner for ten years.  Together, you have two kids, a dog, and you are about to close on a new house.  Life is going great, when an unexpected bump crosses your path. You come home from a hard day of work when you find a note on your door. When you open it reads, "I've been sleeping with your man/lady, for the past five years...I thought you should know"

Is your relationship strong enough to survive anything?  Or even better how much drama are you willing to put up with before looking at the front door?

Before making a quick move, always look at the entire picture. Is this truth or a hater in the mist? How well do you know your partner? Can you two get through this?

First things first, trust your gut.  You know when things just aren't right.  If you stand for nothing, then you will fall for anything!  At the end of the day, nobody wants a weak partner.  Even if you don’t leave, please don’t lay down quietly.  Stay true to yourself, and you can't go wrong.  Most importantly, your partner has to be willing to take ownership.  If your partner is apologetic, forgiveness is an option.  Forgiveness allows you to bring good karma your way.  People can change; watch how your partner acts.  If their actions match their words, chances are the relationship can be repaired.  However, if you get the same outcome, then perhaps it’s time to reevaluate. 

Let’s consider some examples in the media, Hilary and Bill stayed together.  Maybe all he wanted was more head.  Now he is Hilary’s biggest supporter.   Demi Moore seems like she kept it moving.  Maybe she didn’t have a choice.  Consider how karma works, check out Britney Spears, she even cried a river, need I say more? 

Has your relationship gone through a test? Did it make you stronger as a person, a couple or both? Would you stay in a relationship if you were cheated on? 

Fifty Shades Book Club Meeting

I hope everyone has had enough time to read the book, Fifty Shades of Grey, by E L James. I read it three days, it was so hot and steamy! So we will have our online book club meeting on Tuesday, April 17th at 8:00pm. That will give people time to finish it up. I will follow with details on how we will discuss the book, just make sure you're all finished with it by Tuesday. Email us at StilettoGirls@inbox.com if you want to add questions to the discussion list. Happy Reading

She Didn't Get it From Her Momma

Hey Stiletto Girls,

I’m a 23 year old man and I love my girl. A few months ago we were living with her moms until our new apartment was ready and one night while my girl was asleep I banged her moms. It happened a couple times until we moved out and it hasn’t happened since. I feel bad because her moms sex is better, but I love my girl. She been with me through everything. Her moms said she ain’t telling and since it’s over do you think I should tell her to clear my guilty conscience?

Da Bronx Bomber

HELLLLLLL NOOOO, you better not tell her! Not if you don’t want to have find a new girl and a new place to live. I suggest you and your conscience get over it. She will never forgive or trust you and moms again. Think about that drama at the next family reunion. Moms is probably from the old school, so you know she ain’t gonna say anything. The both of you need to lock that secret away and forget it. Teach your girl some of mommas tricks and keep it movin’.

Stiletto Girls

Hot Sex on a Platter

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter holiday! All of the fried turkey I had got me thinking....about good sex, of course.

I'm sure you've had good sessions and hopefully, you haven't had too many bad sessions. A bad session would be like the one time many years ago when I fell asleep during sex. Exciting, huh? Many key ingredients are needed to cook up a hot bowl of enjoyable sex. A pinch of friction here, a dash of stamina there, throw in location and position for good measure and that’s a recipe for hot sex…but what’s the most important components to good sex?

I think chemistry/attraction and skill are two very important ingredients for having good sex. If you're not attracted to the person, how can you really enjoy sex with them-without pretending at least.

How about skill? Remember my post  on having teach your man how to please you? His skills could be the reason you keep him around. I mean, let’s face it, when your man has your toes curled and your lace-front crooked, you’re more liable to forgive him for minor mishaps. We all know the benefits to having good sex regularly. You increase your life and overall health. So, I ask you....which ingredients makes sex good?